Smashy Games
by ACT II
Summary: The Smashers compete in your average living room or backyard games.[It's not boring PSYCH IT IS! NOT! I hope] Each chapter a different game! Each game a different chapter! Wha..? Chapter 9: Fun bonus chapter!
1. Hot Potato

I was going to only update SFSCTT until it was finished but THIS IDEA WAS TOO GOOD TO MISS! I think anyway:

**Hot Potato**

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"OK DIS IS DA HOT POTATO SHOW OF DOOM!" Crazy Hand screamed quietly, in a loud way that was silent, to the camera "OUR CONESTANTS ARE…" 

Roy! "JOO R ALL PERVS!"

Sandbag! "…"

Peach! "I like cheese!"

Zelda! "Someone stuck a fake peanut up my nose!"

Link! "I IS H.O.T."

Marth! "YO MAMA!"

Pichu! "Foxes! Hehehehehe!"

Fox! "I'm scared!"

"OK LET'S START!" the glove threw a potato in the air, it landed on Pichu, but he was just obsessed with foxes and didn't catch itand melted in the heat. Then mixed with the potato and ate himself causing him to disappear.

"YAY!" Fox cried, Crazy threw another and Zelda caught it, she tossed it to Marth who tossed it to Sandbag who fell over.

"OOH JUST LOOK AT THAT BAG'S FACE! HE MUST BE SAD, HUMBLE, AND HURT BECAUSE OF HIS LOSS!"

The sandbaglay there.

"ANYWAY! SAY BYE-BYE!" he picked it up and stuffed it up something to stuff up into; a pit of rabid houses, ouch.

Link picked it up and threw it at Roy who caught it with his mouth, "YUM!"

"DIS IS GETTING NOWHERE AT MEIUM SPEED! TIME FOR THE NEXT LEVEL!" Crazy Hand pulled out a crazy chicken and threw it at Roy who screamed and was chased out of the living room with banjo music playing.

"EH WHAT DA FUDGE!" he pulled out a rubber chicken that was hot and tossed it to Fox who tossed it to Zelda who tossed it to Peach who tossed it to Link who tossed it to Marth who tossed it to Marth who tossed it to Marth who tossed it to Marth who tossed it to Marth who tossed it to the lamp who tossed it back to Fox.

"I'm cute." A chocolate bunny said, walking up to Link, so he did the most obvious thing that would be funny and if you didn't see it coming than you are a weirdo who has a poopy head.

He ate it. (Psyche! You thought it was something weird and unrelated! HA!)

Then Fox made him sneeze with his tail while Link passed the chicken to Marth, "Like ew! You sneezed on this!" thenMarth fainted and fell out a window, landing in a dumpster where the trash truck came by and threw the contents in.

"Fox, Link, Zelda, Peach are the remaining contestants!" Sonic said before being eaten by a madhouse.

Peach threw the chicken with such force, Link and Zelda put on their bubble shields, but they were stuck and screamed as they rolled down the hall.

"It's just you and me!" Fox said.

Peach threw the toy at him and jammed itin his ear and he screamed and fell unconscious of horror. Then a savage pie Crazy was about to eat broke free and charged at Peach, destroying everything in its chaos-ridden path of evil.

She ate it.

"Oh, did I win?" she said,

"YES YOU DID!" the crazy one said "HERE IS YOUR PRIZE!" he handed her novelty exploding tic tacs.

"Who could want a better gift!" she exclaimed.

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Review or devour a sub in two seconds while standing on your face cuz I have twenty other planned games, though I probably won't use all of them. 

Prey the next chapter is funnier or die trying! (?)


	2. Cow Tipping

Thanks for the reviews!

ARGH! I lost the book of the twenty different games to write about! Oh well.

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"HELLOS It's-a me-a, Master Hand!" Master Hand said, 

Mario sued him.

"Crap… now I'm short on money… anyway this game is; cow tipping!" he moved out of the way to show the Ice Climbers, Captain Falcon, Samus, and Kirby sitting in a hilly fenced in valley with cows all around.

"NOT A PERVERT!"Protested Falcon. Kirby walked over to Nana, giggling and stuffed her up a cow's nose. Then burst out laughing.

Young Link wandered onto the scene "Can I play?" he asked,

"Alright… This is cow tipping."

"COOL!" the ten-year-old screamed and to everyone else's horror took out his hook shot and stringed five cows together, watching them blow up.

"OMFG! STOP THAT!" Master Hand yelled, somehow taking off his glove and slapping the Hylian across the face "SHAME ON YE!"

This sent him spiraling above the clouds.

Then the ghosts of the cows mooed and made poltergeist activity and the Smashers screamed as they flew around.

Master Hand sucked them up with a fish, which came possessed and scarily… um… flopped in one spot. Falcon then cooked and ate it somehow not getting possessed.

"Yes! Go into the light! All is welcome! All is welcome!" Popo said to the ghost cows. Kirby took Master Hand and slapped Popo across the face; this sent him spiraling above the clouds.

"Daisy!" Master Hand spoke into a walky-talky "Send the special cow tipping stuff!" a helicopter flew over. But collided with Y. Link and Popo, exploding.

The three all landed on Kirby who was squished into an unrecognizable blob of goo. "Ok so now there are six contesters!" Sonic said before being eaten by a cow with an Eskimo up its nose.

"Ok… AW NUTS! The special cow tipping stuff is incinerated! ARGH!" the glove exclaimed,

"It's still intact in our hearts…" Nana's muffled voice said from the cow.

"WTF? A t-talk… talking…… Eskimo!" Master Hand gasped,

"_WTF?_ I thought you'd think this was a talking cow?" Nana said,

"Life's full of surprises." The cow said.

"Yeah."

"Yep."

"So let's start the darn thing! Samus, U go 1st with a U and a number one!" she walked over to a cow and knocked it down. "One pointy point!"

Daisy knocked one down. "UNAUTHORIZED! JOO R OUT WITH AN R!"

"Well this sux with an X!" she snapped as she was hurled into a rabid princess cage.

"Oh hi Zelda! I'm a princess too- EEEH! ARGH! BLEH! AAAAH! SNORFLE-SNEX! SMOO! AWAWAWAWAWA!" she screamed as she was mauled.

"KIRBSTER! JOO GO!" Kirby dropkicked a cow; it flew into a tree and bounced back into his arms. He stroked it's back until it fell asleep, then tipped it over.

"OOH! Nice one! You get extra points for fancy schmancy tricks!"

Kirby taunted in Popo's face "Why you little… Piece of cheese!" he lunged at the pink rubbery thing who grabbed him and stroked his back until the Eskimo fell asleep, then tipped him over.

"UH-OH! Kirby has executed foul play! YOU ARE THE STRONGEST LINK BUT YOU MESSED UP SO GOOD BYE!" Master Hand then tossed Kirby into the rabid princess cage.

"OW! HEHE STOP THAT TICKLES! LORING SORING BORING RORING TORING QORING! WEEEEE- SPLAT SMOO! SMOOO! SMOOOO!"

"Whoa! Is that even possible!" Falcon said in terror, looking at the disturbing scene in front of him.

"I don't know; I'm not looking so not to be traumatized." Samus replied.

"HEY! You are breaking the rules! Now you have to watch. Better yet… GO IN!" the hand flicked Samus in.

"HEY! OW! STOP! DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT! ARGH! UH HUH! I'M A FIGHTER! GO ME! WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP IT! BLARGENSTINE! OMG THE SILVER WEARS! EVIL! THE HUMANITY! SINGING ON PARADE!"

"At least she's putting up a good fight…" Young Link shivered.

"Two remain! And now a low budget message worth muting." The glove said to the camera.

After the commercials "Now Falcon that is this 'captain' and Link that is this 'young' are the last two ho have made it to the final round. TO TIP THE GOLDEN COW!" a poor cow spray-painted with gold paint walked up to them

"YAAAAH!"

"RAAAAH!"

A butterfly tipped it.

"WOW! THE BUG WINS!" he dropped a trophy on it, crushing it. "Now you twos… take a hike!" the two sighed and walked off.

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RIP butterfly… 


	3. Highway Hopscotch

Kirby soared through the clear blue sky without a care in the world. Then he couldn't hold his breath any longer and fell down. As the puffball fall out of the clouds, he saw the empire state building. Kirby landed in a big garden right next to the building where a modern styled mansion stood with big windows all over. 

'_Smash Mansion?_' he thought and ran down the brick path to the mansion, Marth ran up beside him and as they reached the door his head turned into Fox's. Kirby screamed and ran in, closing the door behind him. He sighed, then walked further in and upstairs.

"There are so many windows!" he said all anime style. (You know, how they talk too much out loud) all the rooms were open and he glanced in all of them, then turning he looked in a larger room where like five guys were that were supposed to be some of the Smashers but looked like famous actors that I can't remember their names of were all in one big bed. (NOOO! EET EEZ NOT WHAT JOO THINK!) They sat up and screamed and Kirby screamed, then popped.

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Then the author awoke screaming in bed that was for some reason on a highway (That was an actual dream, except Kirby didn't scream or think anything was weird… or pop) "Oh right the story!" he said, seeing Mario, Luigi, Falco, Pikachu, Ganondorf, Bowser, and Mr. G&W staring at him.

ACT II disappeared and they went back to what they were doing. "Where's one of those scary gloves?" Pikachu asked,

"I'm the host guy whatever this time! MWAHAHAHAHA!" Mario cackled evilly "Now on this episode of Highway-Hopscotch, are contestants; some bird, a green guy, I don't know who he is, a random rat, some wizard who is ill or something, a scary mutant turtle, and last and least, this 'game that is a watch' or something? Anyway will all do Hopscotch on this here highway!"

Falco threw a rock on one of the spaces and started hopping on the spaces that reached from one end of the highway to the other. Right in the middle a semi truck honked as it rammed the poor falcon. The others (with the exception of Mario) stared in shock as feathers blew around.

"OMG! OMG! OMG!" Luigi cried,

"My mouth is dry! I need water!" Ganondorf exclaimed, Pikachu turned to him,

"I can do a robot impression of one getting a glass of water!" he said and stuck his tongue out, a glass of water on the edge, the Gerudo king screamed and jumped over the twelve-foot wall and swam off… even though the highway was on a grassy meadow.

"One is out and the other forfeit! G&W is next!" Mario said to the camera that the Lakitu held by a fishing pole.

The liquid crystal figure hopped along the spaces when a bus went by and swished him up into the sky.

"Oh this is boring, Pikachu!" the Pokemon nodded and put on a hot pink tutu and danced across the spaces, avoiding cars and trucks and a sicko dressed as a clown on a unicycle with chainsaws. "Well, finally someone got across! Bowser!" Bowser walked across and all the traffic just smashed and exploded on impact with his shell.

"Hmm… Now round two!" Mario exclaimed. Two bulgy eyed chickens squawking appeared under the two "It's Why Did Dat Fudged Up Chicken Run Across Da Road Time!" a band walked across playing badly when a semi truck jackknifed and wiped them out.

Pikachu stared as drum hit him on the head. The chickens bugalked and ran across the road. Sadly for Bowser it ran up the road in a suicidal attempt and he screamed as they were run over (It didn't hit his shell).

Pikachu laughed, then the chicken he was riding stopped. Its eyes got even bulgier and its butt got huge and hundreds of eggs shot out, launching them into the sky.

"Well I guess Pikachu won but-" Mario was cut short when Game & Watch fell down and slit his wrists, Mario screamed and bandaged them. Then Pikachu landed on him and fell down "Ugh… So now it's the final round of WDDFURADRT!" he announced. Two more chickens appeared under them.

"And to make it more fun some cheap chicken feed is at the other end!" G&W's easily crossed the other side. But Pikachu's slowly walked across.

An hour later the sun went down.

The next day the other four awoke to see chicken bones under Pikachu bones fall over on top of the chicken feed bones.

"WOW GAME & WATCH WON! Hmm… this wasn't too random…"

Then the world blew up before Luigi could say "JOO FORGOT ABOUT ME!"

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Well this wasn't QUITE as good as the last one but close anyway. 


	4. Lucid Dreaming

Thanks for making this probably my most popular fanfic! too bad my highest amount of reviews is only 8 (at this moment) so either write a cookbook or read this... COME ON! READ THIS INSTEAD!

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Donkey Kong, Ness, Jigglypuff, Dr. Mario, Mewtwo, Yoshi, and Mario were in a huge bed, Master Hand appeared out of some-(read: no)-where with a book "Hello! And to day these smashing Smashers will perform lucid dreaming! I don't know what the goal is but oh well!" then he read Edgar Allen Poe's The Fall of the House of Usher to make them fall asleep.

A big screen TV was hooked up to them so the 'invisible' audience could see what was happening which was replaced by the same exact television that was taken away and replaced by itself.

DK's Dream…

The gorilla was sitting when he screamed and blew up, then he was reincarnated into an explosion where he screamed and turned into a gorilla.

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Master Hand couldn't comprehend with this, probably because he took the Comprehend B-Gon, and blew up into feathers where Crazy Hand ate them and farted them out. Then he sold them on the pink market where all princesses in pink dresses everywhere tried to buy it and ended up in a mass catfight/yogurt convention also ending world hunger.

"OKZ! Now on to Jigglypuff's!"

Jigg's Dream…

Jigglypuff and Marth ran towards each other in fast forward in a sewage ridden, polluted field outside of a factory destroying one planet for one half of an elevator button.

Since it was fast forward they hit each other hard and blood splattered out, which turned into candy which they ate, which then turned into sewage, which they liked more.

Then they made out and rolled around in the acid and died.

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Crazy stared, and then turned the channel to Mario.

Mario's Dream…

Mario was cornered in an alley with gory zombies shuffling towards him. Then Mario did something the others didn't! Dream lucidly! He made toilets eat them and turn them into Scary songs that didn't help cause he was in a scary place. The plumber then made them eat them and belched them out into Green Day songs that Mario fainted from its odor.

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Dr. Mario's Dream…

The doctor was showing a couple (Mewtwo and Mr. Game & Watch (my favorite couple!)) the photo-thingy of their baby "I hope it's an it!" G&W said to his love.

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"EWW HEx2D COUPLES?" the glove gasped in horror.

Mewtwo's Dream…

Mewtwo ran screaming away from Zelda who was eating everything (only inedible stuff) and chasing him while cackling evilly. Mewtwo turned around and made her normal.

"Why thank you Mew-" stopping in mid-sentence, she devoured him in one bite. Then cackled evilly some more.

Then he was the judge in a divorce court.

"It is all her fault!" Roy screamed pointing to Marth, who was really a girl, who was really a foreign Pichu from Poopoo land

"Ur Honr, it ws his flt!" she screamed and turned into an explosion (yes, she didn't blow up) that caught Roy on fire.

"FIRE!" he yelled in joy and licked it off, "YUM!"

Everyone stifled his or her laughter with the exception of Mewtwo who stifled a fart.

"JOO IS GUILTY!" the cat Pokemon said formally and professionally and slammed his hammer down on a wood thingy.

"For what?" Roy asked nervously farting.

"FOR FARTING WITH OUT STIFLING IT AND THIRD-DIGREE BURNS ON YOU TONGUE!" Mewtwo stated, Roy Screamed as he was taken away to a cardboard box with the words 'Naughty Detention Thing That Is Crappy' on it out back, where it started hailing basketball-sized hails.

"NUTS!" Roy complained as it started raining cities.

"Ok what the crud was that!" Master Hand cried and put his foot to his mouth and ate it.

"YAY!" Sandbag exclaimed as he streaked across the screen butt-naked.

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Sandbag naked is the most disturbing scene I could think up... Maybe I should rate this M...

Anyway review!


	5. Simon Says

Ok, so to further ripp off JoebTheGreat with stuff like: people die, games they play, using ... too much (actually that's just a coincedence) I shall advertise:

Poltergiest and Scream!

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Zelda ran into a living room with an invisible crowd that cheered, realized that they were invisible, screamed, and died of horror. "Hello and welcome to The Weird-game-that-isn't-real-and-the-author-just-made-it-up-cuz-he-was-stumped-for-ideas show!"

The Smashers that were on the couch with popcorn and a blanket watching a scary movie just for the mood of the show stared at her.

One of them almost died in a hugging accident.

But didn't.

"Ok! The contestants are: Roy! Link! Sandbag! Sheik! Captain Falcon! Samus! And air!" Zelda said, "START!" the platform she was on raised into the ceiling to get out of the way but there wasn't a hole there and she was crushed.

The lights went out and released from the cage was a rabid baby!

"What are we supposed to do?" Sandbag said, then was eaten by the baby.

"We run away from that evil baby girl until something happens!" Link said conveniently. The baby ate the couch and they ran off screaming and ran into a wall, falling to their death,

Except for Samus and Link who said "HELLZ YEAH!1oneoneoneeleventeenthousandtrillion!1"

"Hey," Samus said, "Guess what?"

"What?" Link asked,

"MADE U LOOK!" Samus laughed,

They stared.

They didn't get it.

Then they picked their noses… then each other's.

They were in love… with noses.

"HELLZ YEAH!11111oneoneone!cheeseone!oneone11!" the noses exclaimed and tried to high-fived each other, but ended up being broken.

Then the rabid baby rabidly ate them in a rabid way that was rabidly rabid.

"OKZ THAT SUCKED SO HERE'S AN ACTUAL GAME." Master Hand said.

The previous contestants appeared in a room I don't care to put in detail.

"Tis Simon Says!" Master Hand said, then died to death.

"Ok, Simon says…" Captain Falcon said, "TAKE A CHILL-PILL!" everyone did, Sandbag tried but failed and died.

"Simon says… FART IN HORROR!" Everyone did.

"EAT IN HORROR!" Sheik did "OOPS! I DIDN'T SAY SIMON SAYS!" sheik's head imploded and Roy ate the fun, bite-sized pieces of gore.

"Yum!" Roy exclaimed licking his lips.

"Simon says… YO MOMMA!" everyone was offended.

"Simon says… RIGHT HAND TO RED!" everyone did.

"Simon says… CHICKENZ!" everyone shouted 'W3R3?22?22?2?' that is, except for Sandbag who then turned into sewage which Roy ate. Sandbag realized he was already dead and then died... again.

"RUN 4 YOUR LIVES!" screamed Falcon, Samus did "I DID NOT SAY SIMON SAYS!" This caused her to get violent farts and ate Falcon who was then replaced with Crazy Hand,

"OK SIMON SAYS… eat someone's face off!" Roy and Link did.

"SIMON SAYS… BREATHE!" the two swordsmen failed terribly/horribly/miserably/cheese/badly.

"FRESH MEAT!" Roy screamed and ate Link, then charged at Crazy who blew him up with a nonexistent explosion. But his nose lived on and sucked the life out of the glove.

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Ok, maybe there was too much stuff involving eating... Oh well... AND READ HOUSE OF HORRORZ SO THAT I CAN SOUND ANNOYING AND MAKE YOU READ IT AND YOU GO CRAPZORZ! AND I CACKLE EVILLY AND TURN INTO CHEESE AND YOU EAT IT AND SAY YUM AND I GIVE YOU DIERIA AND YOU GO OH NOEZ! I IS ALL DOOMED! GOOD ! YA N00B! AND THEN YOU WOULD DIE OF NON-HORROR.

Oh and review.


	6. Prank Calling

YAY!.. I GUESS! I now have three fics at this moment, Jack Attack (cheesy butentertaining) House of (friggin') Horrorz (YAY!) and this one. Sorry this is so **freaking **short... like the other chapters...

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**Prank Calling

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Peach, Mewtwo, Ness, and Kirby were in a set that was made to look like some thirteen-year-old's room, crappy rain and lightning effects were working outside the window and Brittany Spears music was lightly playing somewhere.

Some dumb blond (no offence) who was the host jumped in front of the camera, breaking her leg in the process and going to the hospital. Then Crazy Hand floated in and said to the camera "Hello and welcome to Prank Calling®! Tonight these four contestants," the camera zoomed in on them who smiled, "will be prank calling real people live!"

He floated away and the 'show began'.

They stared.

Someone stifled a fart.

They stared.

Roy jumped across the screen in a tutu.

They stared… in horror.

Then Kirby dialed a number.

"Hello?" some freak answered,

Kirby was at a loss for words and popped. Mewtwo took the phone and dialed 911.

"Hello?"

"POOP!" Mewtwo shrieked and hung up.

Peach and Ness stared.

Mewtwo Stared.

"POOP!" He screamed and ran out of the studio.

Ness took the phone and dialed a random number. "Hello?"

"POOP!" Mewtwo cried on the other line,

"Get off the phone you, you… weird-head!" Ness said, wittily. He could slightly hear a scuffle on the other line with the person who owns the phone and the word poop was yelled several times. Ness cried cause he failed miserably and ran around in circles screaming in humor "Screaming in horror is so last year!" he said, then he touched a block of wood and was electrocuted and fell unconscious. Then wasn't anymore.

"Huh?" Kirby asked and popped again in confusion.

Peach stared in romance at the scene unfolding before her even though it stopped like five seconds ago when Kirby popped and Ness was unconscious and Mewtwo stopped raving about, um… you know. And picked up writing romantic novels.

She read one of his novels and continued to stare in action/adventure. Then she took a waffle and broke the forth wall and stepped on the shards triumphantly, then was lit on fire and ran around getting the crew on fire resulting in a mass Screaming-and-running-around-in-circles-while-on-fire fiasco and then went to the pink market and bought a bag of air. Then realized that the black market and pink market aren't places like the flea market and everyone there stopped and stared in awkward silence while registering this thought in their minds resulting in a yogurt convention where she ate a lot of yogurt and got fat and worked out until she was skinny again. Then enjoyed a pie.

She went back to the studio and dialed a number "I know what joo did!" she said and slammed down the phone. Then a guy in a slicker with a hook came after her and she ran off yelling obscenities in gibberish.

Ness awoke and answered the phone when it rang.

"Hello?" he asked, but not politely.

"Do you like scary movies?" Roger Jackson said, Ness screamed and imploded.

"YUM!" Kirby exclaimed and didn't pop. Cause he didn't.

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He didn't pop, LIVE WITH IT!

Review!


	7. Ice Cream Eating

I haven't updated this in a while because I coudn't think of a good game for them to play that could easily be made funny.

Yay! short chapter! or boo, short chapter, depending on the way you look at life. now read dis n00bs!

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The setting was a beach with the ocean in the background; an ice-cream truck was sitting there when a random anime girl appeared out of nowhere in the front seat. Mario, Fox, Jigglypuff, Link, and Zero Suit Samus ran up to it and ordered ice cream to see who could eat the most before one of them threw up, or something…

Roy danced in front of them in a tutu. But it was like a hundred degrees and his cheap plastic tutu made him sweat and he died of dehydration.

Jigglypuff was about to eat her first helping when a seagull pooed on it, laughed at her, then made a nest on it. Grossed out, the puffball threw it away, "MY NIPPLES!" a guy screamed.

"Good one n00b!" ZS Samus said to Link, thinking it was him,

"I didn't do it!" Link complained n00bishly,

"O RLY?" ZS Samus asked with a feministicly masculine tone.

Then the two began pushing each other. ZS Samus chucked a can of peas at his head. Link screamed and was knocked senseless, then he dumped yogurt all over her and lit himself on fire, chasing her while screaming in pain and horror.

ZS Samus ran off screaming in gibberish about politics.

The two ran into a random city by the ocean and Link caught several people on fire before being put out by a fat kid who then was run over by a raging herd of Game and Watch fanatic fan girls. ZS Samus chucked a dog at his head; this time Link dodged it easily. He grabbed someone's popcorn knowing her weakness and enjoyed it. She was hurt emotionally and died of freezer burn.

Link pranced around Samus while yelling victory as onlookers stared in horror(Yay!). Then Pit walked up and did an ancient satanic ritual, reviving Zero Suit Samus. Then ran off and bought Microsoft on Ebay, then bought Ebay on Ebay.

Link did some swift and fancy nerd slaps which she ducked to avoid. She wrapped him in toilet paper and sold him for seven jellybeans and a used pair of underwear on the pink market.

Link got annoyed and stuck a serial killer down her Zero Suit. She ran around screaming, then gave the Hylian a wedgie and pushed him in the girl's bathroom. "Let me out!" Link cried out as girls screamed and/or laughed.

"Nuh uhh!" smirked Samus as she held the door shut, Then the principle walked by and realized what she was doing,

"Detention Aran!" he ordered. While she was stuck in detention Link snuck out snickering.

After She got out, ZS Samus found Link somersaulting in a dark alley. "We meet again." She whispered dramatically, sadly she whispered to low Link never even noticed her as he back flipped, and smashed into some trashcans. A day old bagel rolled out from the pile of trash and she slipped on it, falling off a cliff.

"I WIN!" Link yelled, throwing a fist into the air. Sadly his fist met with a gangstah's face. He picked Link up and threw him off the cliff.

The two landed on the anime girl crushing her, Fox, Jigglypuff, and Mario stared. Then the gangster, wups I mean gangstah jumped down and pulled out a spork. Luckily Fox ate him,

Then the actual game began. (Teh gaspz!) The five took ice-cream cones and ate. Mario's teeth exploded from biting into it and ran off screaming.

Peach wandered onto the scene and pulled out her exploding tic tacs from chapter one. She tried one and her head exploded in a fireball melting all the ice cream.

"NOOO!" Fox, Jigglypuff, Link, and ZS Samus cried, they tried to soak it up with bread but failed and just ran around screaming in panic.

"Don't worry people running and screaming!" declared Master Hand heroically.

"YAY!" they yelled,

The magical glove made happy ice cream.

"OOH HAPPY ICE CREAM!" They yelled,

The four ate.

They ate way too fast and froze solid from brain freezes. Master Hand then sold their brains for a Speedo and three Luigis on Amazon.

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NEVER EAT HAPPY ICE CREAM IT MAKES YOU EAT IT TOO FAST AND YOU GET FROZEN ANDYOUR BRAIN WILL MOST LIKELY GET SOLD!

Thanks for reading this cheap but at least funny story, now review!


	8. Weird Epic Super Grand Finale Wowz!

I'm scared and sad… because the first chapter is scary and sad.

This has alot of Ocarina of Time refrences but if you don't know about the game it woun't really matter.

**Disclaimer**: This isn't even part of the rules, someone just did it and other readers saw this and wanted to do it, then it spread (dies for some 'unexplained' reason) LAWL RANTING!1

This is the**_ SUPER GRAND FINALE OF SUPERNESS AND GRANDNESS!_**

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Marth, Roy, and Peach where standing on top of a brick bunker thingy sticking out of the desert; all the while a huge sandstorm was over them.

"This time these three contestants will endure the sandy danger of the sandy and dangerous desert of the **HAUNTED DESERT** of Hyrule to get to the treasure," said some narrator with a creepy voice.

"Master Hand, you don't have to host this 'special' THIS IS SUPPOST TO BE A BACKYARD GAME THINGY AND NO ONE'S SUPPOSED TO BEWATCHING!" Roy complained,

"I'm not Master Hand." The host replied,

"Crazy?" Roy asked,

"Nope,"

"Pee Wee Herman…?" Roy guessed, nervous.

"Nuh uh!" the host said, who walked out of the non-existent shadows to reveal Banjo and Kazooie.

"AH!" Roy yelped in horror. Banjo stepped on a twig sticking out of the ground and popped. Kazooie strapped her back to Roy's back with scotch tape and flew off.

"C'mon, let's go!" Peach said to Marth, the two stepped onto the sand where they began sinking and screaming, the two pulled themselves onto the top of the bunker, "NOW WHAT?" Peach, who forgot to stop screaming, screamed.

"You take these!" ZS Samus said sexily, who was next to Link, who was also trying to look sexy. Before Peach and Marth appeared two pairs of knockoff Hover boots and two Lenses of Truth.

"ZOMG." stated Peach,

"Two Lenses of Truth?" Marth asked,

"Their just rip-offs, 'Mirrors of No Lies' they call them." Link said.

"COOLZ LOL." Marth said and the two took them.

The princess and prince put the lenses to their faces and looked at each other, making funny faces, Then Marth looked at Peach's head, which was 100 made of plastic, by plastic surgeons he guessed "WTF?"

The two turned to see a ghostly ghost with a lantern floating near them "WTF?" the two said almost at once, not quite though.

"I'll be your guide on your way, but coming back, I won't play!" it said,

"What the crap does that mean?" Peach asked,

"I'll show you the only way to go, so follow me and don't be slow!" it finished, ignoring her.

So the two followed it, only seeing it with the Mirror of No Lies.

Meanwhile Roy screamed in horror/humor as the 'breegull' swooped down to the ground. Roy got on his feet and ran off, but began sinking "NUUUEEEEE!11!" he screamed, Kazooie then walked, pulling Roy on his back, but didn't sink for some reason, "YAY! I IZ'NT SINKING!"

Suddenly a chandelier fell and crushed Kazooie "NOES!" Roy said as he began sinking again. Off in the distance was a pier "NOES?" Roy wondered and ran screaming over to the pier.

Slowly walking across the rickety wood, he saw a huge whirlpool of sand and a flying carpet with some old weird guy sitting on it. "NOOOEEEES!" Roy yelled as he leapt across the space in-between.

"NOES, NOEZ? NOES!" Roy explained, to the guy,

"Well, I am selling stuff, strange and rare, from all over the world to everybody. Today's special is… MAGICAL HEALING CRUMPETS!" he yelled, taking out a bag of crumpets.

"YAY!" Roy said and clapped girlishly, he took one and shoved it down her throat,

"I ARE ALIVE!" Kazooie yelled, "OR ARE I? You never know…"

Suddenly there was a rumbling.

"NUUUEE!1" all three yelled.

Three snake tongues whipped out of the sand vortex below and wrapped around the merchant guy, pulling him down "**NUUUEEEEE!1!11!**" the two screamed, trying to hug each other, but were back to back and ripped their arm/wing out then reattaching them with glue.

A colossal garter snake's head peeked out of the vortex, its eye the size of Final Destination, They screamed until some nearby jars imploded, then Roy said, "ONWARD MAGIC CARPET!" it flew off, narrowly missing the snap of the snake. The garter Snake followed at breakneck speeds, which killed it. But another one the same size followed them!

Back with Marth and Peach, the sand storm began to clear and they put away the hand mirrors "WE DON'T NEED JOO ANYMORE GHOZT!" Peach said a little too noobishly.

"WHY JOO LITTLE-" the ghost said and imploded, going back to the other side… of the desert,

"Ooh a penny!" Marth said and went to pick up a penny, but it pulled away as if it was on some string, that was because Marth didn't notice the two-inch wide rope attached to it. He persistently followed the penny for fifty feet until he reached a rock wall, the penny slipped into a crack, "I WANT IT!" Marth said.

He pulled out a bomb and chucked it at the wall, it exploded, Marth looked down to see a beetle laughing and holding a penny "ST00PID BUG!" the swordsman said and stepped on it, getting the penny all yucky "EWWWZ…" Marth said prissily.

But Marth then noticed a glistening fountain in a white brick room, built into the organic wall. Suddenly a nine-foot tall woman with only vines covering her flew out of the fountain laughing madly.

"AH!" Marth yelped,

"Welcome MARTH! I am the Great Fairy of Magic!"

"O YA?" Marth asked,

"YA," She replied.

"Then I wish a huge flock of flying crumpets would come here!" Marth with big watery anime eyes,

"Wish granted!" she then started laughing hysterically and flew back into the fountain, hitting her head on the side of the fountain and getting the water bloody.

"EWWWWZ…" Marth said, "But thanks magical stripper!" he walked out of the cave to see a cloud of flying crumpets swarm over to him.

They tried jumping him.

He ran off screaming.

Peach found herself in front of the spirit temple, a building chiseled out of the rock with a statue of a woman above the entrance "ZOMG…" Peach said slowly, looking up at it.

As she walked up, Sheik jumped down "The Master Sword is a ship with which you can sail upstream and downstream through time's river…"

"I'm not Link." Peach spoke,

"Oh, well, is Link here, maybe Marth?" he… she… asked,

"I'm here," Link said, his arm on ZS Samus's shoulder.

"JOO CHEATER!" Sheik said, turning into Zelda,

"NO!" Link said, "She's just with me to look sexy for this game crap!"

"O YA?" Zelda asked,

"YA!" ZS Samus replied,

They then got in a furious catfight. As in putting two cats down and making them fight "Come on Fluffers!" Zelda urged,

"You can beat him!" ZS Samus shouted,

Peach shrugged and watched, eating some popcorn. You think this may be cruel to the cats right? Well they were playing SSB: M as Jigglypuff and Pichu.

Roy and Kazooie were holding on to the carpet as the snake repeatedly lunged at them, missing.

A rock spire, jutting out of the sand, was right in front of them, Roy rolled to the side, pulling the carpet out of the way, scraping the rock. The Snake smashed through it. Small stones rained down over them.

Just then the swarm of crumpets flowed over the snake, they stuck together and formed a blob. It hovered onto the carpet and morphed into three swordsmen, they then called upon the power of the mighty crumpet swords and threateningly came towards Roy.

Kazooie ripped off the tape and jumped to the side of Roy, she unsheathed Clouds Heaven, a huge orange and black striped sword from Final Fantasy VII.

Encouraged, Roy unsheathed his Sword of Seals the two furiously fought the three crumpet fighters.

Marth stopped screaming when he fell into an oasis, also when his vocal cords imploded. But he realized that the oasis was bone-dry.

"Aww, I know what will cheer it up!" Marth said, ignoring the fight with the cats not too far away. Getting out, he took out an ocarina that he made out of apple pie crusts, then began to play the Song of Storms.

Suddenly dark clouds appeared overhead and rain sprinkled down.

Link was having a dream that Zero Suit Samus, Zelda and an artichoke were all giving a him a lap dance at once while he whipped Ganondorf and told him to get some cookies, when the rain awoke him "Aw crap…" he said as he saw the cats playing. Then lightening surged the power in the floating TV, down to the Game Cube, electrocuting the cats.

The warring women put two dogs in place of the cats and told them to play. Suddenly a lightening bolt shot down and zapped them. In place of the TV, Game Cube, and doggies was one big black spot.

"Poor hound-mutts!" Peach said, "well, I got to go!"

She wandered into the temple.

Suddenly the Smoo, a freaky blue heeler dog, appeared "Wooferschnoodlez!1" it said and chased Link, Zelda, and Samus.

After having a pool party with two Leevers, Marth got out and dashed into the temple.

Inside, two porcelain pots hovered in the air and shot lasers at them "AH!1" they screamed, running back and fourth. Peach dived at a small crawl space and crawled through the tiny tunnel. Marth deflected the lasers with his sword, bouncing off and shattering the pots.

Zelda turned around for a second "Humbyahamumbojumbowootishabracadabra!" a ball of hot pink energy flew from her arm and smashed into the pooch. He shattered into little Smoos the size of mice, all barking at once.

"YAY!" Link said.

Finally Roy and Kazooie had knocked the swords from their hands. They held their swords to their crumpet-throats, then knock them off balance by girlishly pushing them. The snake opened wide, swallowing the crumpets whole, it slithered impossibly faster and lunged at the carpet again.

"NOEZ!" the two screamed, it missed, but a loose thread was caught in between its teeth, as it fell backwards the carpet unraveled. The two dashed over to the end until it unraveled completely.

Kazooie grabbed Roy by the shoulders as they free fell, almost flying because of the speed they were going at across the desert. The insanely gigantic snake shot out two huge green lasers from its eyes. Royput his hands on his hips as the lasers bounced of his armor, superman music playing. It zapped the snake, the front half vaporized and the bones, also because of the high speed, flew at them.

Kazooie flapped her wings and pulled Roy out of the way. The spinal column stuck into the sand. The swordsman and bird slapped into it, flying off of it like a ramp, now at least a hundred feet above the sandy sand.

Peach crawled out of the tunnel and into a room with three doors "Ooh!" all locked, "Nerds!" she saw a bunch of bats flying around on fire, "I'll have to kill them to make the doors unlock!" but they were on fire and burned to ash, "YAY!" she entered one door.

Marth walked up to a huge black block, blocking his way of getting to this treasure. So he took out all of his bombs that we have no idea where he's getting and lit them.

Once the bombs imploded, imploding the block, he ran in screaming a prissy war cry.

ZS Samus accidentally stepped on one of the Smoos, popping all of them including her "YES I WIN HAHA!" Zelda said.

At the top of the temple, Marth and Peach met each other in a room with a single throne in the middle, "We meet again…" Marth said,

"Yeah…" Peach said, the two walked up to the throne to see a cute little frisky terrier made of stone "Aww how cute!" it came to life and tried pooping on her head, "EEEEEEH GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" rocks fell on her head and she ran across the room, smashing through a conveniently placed window.

Marth jumped into the air and so did the stone cold pooch. Marth jumped to the ground and when the dog landed, it fell to rubble.

"YAY ANIME!" he yelled to the camera and ran to the now unlocked door. Opening it, the door led to the palm of the right hand of the statue, there was a chest in the middle.

"Ooh pretty!" he said and opened it, there lied a golden Master Hand statue, suddenly Roy and Kazooie landed on the chest, smashing it.

Roy got up to find a board lodged in his forehead, "Ouch." He stated.

Kazooie ate the gold.

"NUUUUUEEEE!" the swordsmen cried,

"Uh, it was the adventure we had that was worth it…?" she asked.

Marth and Roy shoved her around like school bullies until the hand they were on broke away. It landed on Link, killing all three swordsmen and the bird.

Zelda stared.

"What, you didn't expect that?" Crazy Hand asked, next to his brother. Suddenly what was left of the flock of crumpets tried raping Crazy Hand.

Zelda transformed into sheik and started eating the crumpets while Master Hand flew off and got eaten by some Leevers.

"How scrumptious!" Peach stated while watching Sheik eating swiftly and ninja-like.

_**THE END

* * *

**_

This wasn't that funny, I know, but it had really cool action...?

REVIEW PLZ LOL.


	9. Hide and Seek stupid last chapter

Here's a final (not so) fun bonus chapter!

YAY

THE END

O NO WAIT UNTIL THE END OF THE CHAPTER FOR THE END

* * *

Jigglypuff closed her eyes and began counting, "One, one, one, one…"

Pit, Bowser, Yoshi, Falco, and the Ice Climbers ran around looking for a place to hide in the scary mansion.

Pit hid behind a typical black cat that hissed and ran away and was used for jump scenes whenever you saw it, giggling uncontrollably until he developed gum disease and a knack for lawn ornaments so he stopped before he bought any lawn gnomes.

"Nine thousand, three hundred, and seven, nine thousand, three hundred, and eight…" Jigglypuff said, skipping thousands of numbers.

The Ice Climbers hid behind each other until they imploded and created a black hole.

Bowser ran out and hid in another mansion on the opposite side of the country.

"Zero, here I come!" she said and found Bowser instantly.

"WTF?" Bowser said.

"Why didn't you try to hide? Whatever," Jigglypuff wondered, then couldn't help but snickered innocently as she watched him get ripped apart in agony by the black hole.

She skipped off to the bathroom, then saw the toilet and greedily ate it.

She stared for a long time.

Then she stared for a short time.

Then she changed her mind and stared for a long time, a little shorter, just a little, but was for sure longer than the short stare, she liked it more as it lasted longer, it wouldn't seem like there was a difference besides length but there was. The short one was just stupid and for losers so she didn't know why she chose that, the other one was just better, there always was a debate between the two for Jigglypuff, but she finally made her decision that day.

Then she noticed Yoshi.

"Hi." She said, staring off into space, thinking about dog-coated giant lollipops.

Yoshi ran past her down the stairs, she followed, jumped on him and savagely stabbed him to death, then realized this wasn't a slasher movie so she replaced his eyes with oranges, she didn't know what this did so she stabbed him some more, this brought him back to life.

She then ran off to find the other two.

* * *

After hours of maddening searching, Jigglypuff began losing her insanity from all the disturbing images in the house, and scary ghost noises along with howling wind and fake lightening and fog, which was for some reason in the house.

Laughing insanely, she ate all the zombies in the room, then went into the funhouse room with loud annoying music and revolving mirrors for walls, she ballroom danced as if she was dancing with someone invisible.

She in fact was, but didn't know or care or feel like it.

"I'm getting bored already and it's only been one minute since she stopped counting," commented Falco to a vacuum.

"Yeah." Pit said.

"I wasn't talking to you." Falco said and ran out crying, then got run over by a kid on a scooter.

Out of boredom, Pit took down a coat and tore pieces off, eating them, then got an idea.

* * *

Later… 

Pit and a zombie walked around in circles and/or/is/are/was/were/he/she/it/is/are/was/were trapezoids yet squares, playing dress up with boas and pink dresses while talking gibberish in English accents.

Then a roll of toilet paper came in and ate them.

* * *

YAY

REVIEW

YAY AGAIN.


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